and that fadeth not away

"To an inheritance incorruptible, and undefiled, and that fadeth not away, reserved in heaven for you," 1 Peter 1 verse 4.

There are times of great problems and instability, when one looks to God for help, then things calm down and seem to be resolved. Suddenly, other undesirables attack the same situation and your strength crumbles once again...

Seasons of peace may fade but the inheritance I have through the blood of Jesus NEVER fades. It will be wonderful from start to eternity, and nothing can take it away from me.
As I write with tears in  my eyes, in this earthly body bound by pain & hurt & reject, my hope & eyes look toward heaven for what is reserved for me there. As I look above from where my help comes, the Lord reminds me not to dwell on pain & disappointment but to focus on the Holy Spirit in me; Revealer of all truth. Who reminds me that this world too shall pass, my problems will fade but the place Jesus has gone to prepare for me won't.

So I'll gather strength from the Lord & not my weak efforts. And learn what I need to carry on in this life.

"That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ:" verse 7

If You're Happy & You Know It...

I received my first blog award from ParisPink at The Pink Polka Dot. Thank you so much, I love it! Her blog is fabulous and you should definately visit.

So here are the rules:- List 10 things that make you happy. Tag 10 bloggers that brighten your day and link back to the person that tagged you. So Here goes my list:)

1) Surprise visits at work from my Pookie!!( Can you tell I'm excited he was just here?!)

2) One of those mega-watt, sunshine & rainbows plus dancing rabbits smiles from my pumpkin pie ( I testify that these smiles make any dark cloud look like tasty cotton candy)

3) The sea- with or without a beach I can't help the blissful feeling.

4) Anything my mommy cooks

5) Movie dates with my youngest sis- we laugh at the most random things at exactly the same time even if it's not a comedy:)

6) When God reveals more of Himself to me- and I'm just in awe of His greatness.

7) Cuddling up in clean sheets

8) Hanging out laundry & taking them off the clothesline outside, it's the most peaceful & relaxing time, I promise. (However, I don't care much for the actual washing and putting away process.

9) To get I love yous & kisses all over my face (oh joy!) and random "thinking about you phone calls especially from daddy.

10) Seeing my family happy, instant mood booster!

So now I'm awarding:
Dr.Drama at A Voice of Reason and (In)sanity- Hilarious blog & I love her style, sh'e a professional & she cooks! A woman after my own heart:)

Jen at Beautiful Mess-Psalm 40- Such an inspirational blog & her great attitude gets me every time.

Kandee Johnson at Kandee the make up artist- Talented & the definition of sweetheart:)

Dana at MADE- Mega creativity & adorable kids:)

Brittany at Que Sera Sera- Interesting & must-read blog, plus I would shop in her closet!

Whitney at The Glamorous Life of a Housewife-A fantastical & entertaining blog, besides she's the only other person I've seen that uses the word 'horrid' besides myself & Enid Blyton:)

Melissa at The Missionary Mama- If I met Melissa in real life I'm sure we'd be fast friends!

Lauren at Thread by Thread- I just see God shining right through this woman & we've never met

Heather at Heather Drive- My first blog love & oh my! All those recipes!

April at dot...dot...dot...- A sassy & fun blog & she always seems to have a great attitude:)

The Challenge

Well I've done the women's marriage ministry challenge already (see previous post with link) but the lessons that it teaches are ones to emulate in everyday married life, so I'm glad to do it again. The first two challenges went well, because Pookie & I have both come to expect an intimate greeting from each other when he gets home.

 Last night though we had a stupid fight about something insignificant and it brings me to today's challenge about respect. Pookie was trying to avoid any disagreement & I felt ignored. This is a cycle I have to keep praying about to break. When we respond based on feelings, it usually blows things out of proportion and leaves us feeling quite silly when tempers have calmed down. Doing the challenge again helps me to remain focused on making the changes in me & my marriage, a permanent part of our lives.

At the beginning of the year I came up with the idea that we should make a united effort to spend more "just us" time despite our busy schedules. The idea is to have a date night once a month, where I'm in charge of January's date, him February etc. The rules are it should be low budget, so that we get more creative & see how much thought the other person put into their date planning & because our aim for this year is to completely get out of debt. There will be no complaning about the date eg. If I plan an event that he doesn't think he will enjoy then he can't complain about it ( this has been a problem of sorts because my husband doesn't like to step out of the box even though he usually loves the experience & I want to be more appreciative of him & his efforts). Also, the date can run anytime that month, the other spouse just needs enough time to organize babysitting and ensure it doesn't clash with work, etc.

Well this month was a trial run & since it was my idea I went first. So Pumkin-pie had a sleepover with grandma & I planned my date for that night with alot of prayer (you see if this date bombed then the idea would be a no-go with Pookie). There is a decking above our verandah (quite common for Caribbean houses) and the view is awesome up there especially at night. I had gotten some fried wantons, which we both love, from the retaurant we had our reception & anniversary dinner. That and some hot chocolate with marshmallows.

It had been raining heavily that afternoon & it made me worried but then I prayed that God would help me with a way to make it work. The rain stopped & the weather was perfect. It was just the right amount of chill for cuddling & enjoying our hot chocolate. I enjoyed it fully & so did Pookie. We talked for hours up there and discussed our hopes and dreams. Quite romantic it was & cheap too:) I can't wait to see what he'll do for February and I'm praying that he follows through and not give up on us spending time together, because that's what I'm after. These connections that make everything seem worthwhile and that God is indeed smiling down on our union.

'Til Death

My marriage is very important to me, even more so that we have experienced some very trying & "deal breaker" times. The Lord places alot of importance on the institutions of marriage & family; And it is guidelines from the Word of God that has kept me going in my role as a wife. I have discovered a blog dedicated solely to marriage based on the real life experiences of its author Aimee Freeman. Check out http://www.womensmarriageministry.blogspot.com/ it is encouraging & she is about to embark on a 14 day challenge that has reinforced all that God was trying to show me on being the wife He called me to be.
So if you have a great marriage & even a not so great one, join in the challenge & spread the word & get a lot of people following God's will for successful marriages & the way He intended for them to be.

Surely Goodness and Mercy...

...shall follow me all my days.

Lately I've been coming up short. And this happens, part of life I think. Just not getting anything done right, lots of mistakes in almost every life area and people you care about being short or simply annoyed at you. This happens too. Feeling down about it. This happens as well; to me that is.
Add to that mucho financial setbacks and in my mind things escalate. I'm the type of person that sometimes worries about money, meal planning, parenting, marriage, other relationships until I have a headache. Worry is a sin that I've been trying to shake for awhile now; sometimes successfully but somehow it has crept right back. What does my Lord say about this? "Be careful (anxious or worried) for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God." Philippians 4 vs 6.

So I pray about it. This worrying is my weakness and often how the enemy tries to keep me from the full joy I have only in the Lord. This is how he tries to disrupt my identity in Christ, by trying to trick me into taking up my burdens and struggling with them when Jesus already said that those with their heavy burdens must come to Him and He'll give us rest.

So God delivered me from my downcast spirit this afternoon with a song. It reminds me that He doesn't love me because of anything I've done or not done well, but because He's Good & Merciful. So all my feelings of not being enough at times in this life doesn't warrant me being down on myself, for my God is more than enough.

Faith

Two and a half years ago after much prayer and fasting, I received a word from God. I had written it down and placed it in my Bible as a reminder.
"Be confident my daughter in the love I have for you. I cannot stop loving you and I cannot let you down. It is impossible. If you learn to trust me, giving praises no matter the situation, you will have unmovable faith, then there will be no fear of anything in your heart and you will be confident in all things."

At that point in my life I was a single unemployed mother. I was not living comfortably and I rarely smiled. I couldn't see any reason to. Also I was at that point of constant insecurity in my worth and self-image. And I had no earthly friendship to turn to. I was alone even though others were around, and very afraid. Afraid for my daughters future, mine and that God could never use someone like me to make a difference in this world because I was afraid of the devil and his attacks.
My Heavenly Father obviously didn't see me as I saw myself based on what He said to me then. So for the past couple years He has lead me on a journey of knowing Him better by diving into His word letting it become my assurance and daily necessity."So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God."
So reading this once again I'm so grateful to God for completely turning my life around. Turning my sorrow into joy. Showing me an Almighty, All-Knowing and Loving God. The God who sees what I can be and not focus on the imperfection that I am. The only true and Living God who has sanctified me and adopted me into His precious family by the sacrifice of His Son Jesus.

The Lord is responsible for any increase in my faith over the years and not me. Without Him I am nothing. Without the Creator of the Heavens and the Earth I would be all that I thought I was. But Thanks be to God! I am not! I am a child of the King! And nothing can separate me from His love!

And He loves me enough to show me the pride that still lurks in my heart, the thoughts that still need to be subjected to Him. Because I daily need Him to "Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me." Psalm 51 verse 10.
I am still a work in progress, but if the Almighty God hasn't given up on me, then why should I give up on myself?

I am not afraid

"Be bold, be strong! For the Lord our God is with you!
Be bold, be strong! For the Lord our God is with you!
I am not afraid, I am not ashamed!
I'm gonna walk in Faith and Victory...
Walk in Faith and Victory!
For the Lord our God is with you!"

This is the chorus the Lord used to encourage my heart this morning. Yesterday had not been a successful day at work. It's becoming more stressful lately and I am daily counting down til December 11 when I'm off for vacation. Last night my heart was burdened and I needed to talk to somebody, Pookie went to sleep minutes after I got home, I will never burden little Pie's heart with things she won't understand and in Jamaica free calls on my cell only come on after 11 at night when I hope not to be still awake and I don't have or want a landline at home. So who to talk to but God? He's usually my first go-to and He should always be but I thought I was very much in need of physical contact and sympathy.
So when it wasn't satisfied, I woke up kind of dismayed, I seriously toyed with the idea of calling in sick to work but that would never make my problems disappear only intensify and delay it a little.
As I sat in my chair with Pie curled up in my lap, watching the sun rise this morning, feeling that nice crisp chill that we get here that says Christmas is near, not enjoying it (which is unusual for me) the chorus starts softly in my heart. Then it grows louder and louder until my voice starts echoing it and Pie starts to sing along with her mommy. My spirit lifts and I can go on with my day.

Psalm 103 verse 13-14- "Like as a father pitieth his children, so the Lord pitieth them that fear him.
For he knoweth our frame; he remembereth that we are dust."
My God remembers I am only human and he feels sorry for me. He knows my human instincts are first to give up and give in and I need His encouragement. I see a new side of Him everyday and it is humbling to know the Great Creator cares about a bad day or two in my life.