Life by design~ God's Design

Happy Birthday...

2010-09-03T15:27:00.000-05:00

... to my Love! wish you many more Pookie & I pray that I'll be able to share them all with you:-)

Where am I?

2010-09-02T08:21:00.000-05:00

During this mornings devotion from In Touch with Dr. Charles Stanley this sentence was what stuck out the most to me : "He has already mapped out the perfect plan to get you from where you are to a flourishing spiritual life."

It's obvious to me that I'm not at the flourishing spiritual life, but where am I?
This summer has been a triumphant, humbling & unsuccessful spiritual walk for me. Highs & lows, in that order. I have felt really close to God & very distant. I have felt secure & really lost. The tide was turning & then unexpectedly crashed on my head. From being a source of encouragement & prayer for others, I'm at a place where I'm struggling & need such a source.

It's the little things that God says & does that make a difference in my heart & this little sentence He just now showed me has given me a little boost of confidence & hope~ He has already mapped out. Right now that is all I need to know.

I won a giveaway:-) Thank you CG!

2010-08-17T10:58:00.000-05:00

I won a giveaway from the beautiful CG Blogger of A Country Girl Blogs, and I recently received it in the mail. I loove it & I'm excited I won! I've only tried the Avon lip stix in Romantic Rose so far & I really like it:-)

♥ Avon On-The-Go Eye Shadow In Lavender ♥

♥ Avon On-The-Go Eye Shadow In Green ♥

♥ Avon Arabian Glow – Shadow Stix In Intense Bronze ♥

♥ Avon Arabian Glow – Shadow Stix In Emerald ♥

♥ Avon ANEW Rejuvenate Dial-A-Glow Anti-Ageing Moisturizer SPF15 ♥

♥ Avon Lip Stix In Romantic Rose ♥

♥ Avon Glazewear Extreme Lip Gloss In Pale Pink ♥

♥ Shimmer Lip Gloss ♥

♥ KLEANCOLOR Nail Lacquer In Fairy Lover ♥

♥ KLEANCOLOR Nail Lacquer In Beach Blue ♥

♥ Avon Nail Polish In Cotton Candy ♥

♥ Hair Bands (x3) In Bronze/Gold/Brown ♥

♥ Beaded Bracelets (x3) Multicolor ♥

Pumpkin Pie took this pic for me

2010-08-11T14:32:00.000-05:00

What I see when I look at this picture is strong life. Life that despite the dirt splattered on its leaves, is still growing and spreading.

Would you like to go out with me?

2010-08-05T12:09:00.001-05:00

Pookie & I had a date evening/night on Monday, since it was a public holiday & the Pie was at Grammaw's house.

It was relaxing & ended way too soon, but now it's in my special memories section of my brain that induces secret smiles whenever I visit it.
We started with dinner here:

awesome view!!!

And delicious seafood!

Then we ended by going to see this:

Can't wait for the next date night :-)

Overcoming Sin

2010-07-31T12:54:00.000-05:00

I acknowledge my sin unto thee, and mine iniquity have I not hid. I said, I will confess my transgressions unto the Lord; and thou forgavest the iniquity of my sin. Psalm 32 vs. 5

Christians sin daily. Sometimes presumptiously. Went back to an old way that God had previously freed them from. Sometimes the guilt they bear is so great they stop walking with God. Fall out of fellowship. But it is at times like these we should really cling to Him & hold firmly His hand.

But how can the guilty mind grasp that. "I knew better but I did it any way; I've caused so much pain; I made someone else sin; Even if God forgives me, I can't forgive me; I'm not strong enough to walk with God, I keep messing up!" Ever felt like this, maybe worse? thought it didn't make sense because you are so imperfect?

Well turning back from God is EXACTLY what the enemy wants us to do when we give into sinful temptation. Do we want to give satan anymore victory over our lives than he already got? I'm sure noone wants to keep fighting the deceiver over & over again about the same weakness. How do we move on with God after an episode like giving in to temptation? Whether it was one time or repeatedly, God is waiting for you.

Tell Him exactly what you did even though He already knows. We must admit when we are wrong. Ask Him to forgive you & accept that forgiveness. Many times we dwell on things God has already forgiven us for & live in defeat. Jesus can use anyone for anything. All sin does to a believer is make them feel worthless & believe the lies that the enemy would rather have us believe so we can't accomplish God's perfect will for our lives.
God can remove any influence of sin from your life no matter what it is, if we sincerely ask Him.
John chp 4 vs. 13 & 14 " Jesus answered and said to her, "Whoever drinks of this water will thirst again, but whoever drinks of the water that I shall give him will never thirst. But the water that I shall give him will become in him a fountain of water springing up into everlasting life."

Don't be defeated by your weaknesses, confess them & ask for help & definately continue in the walk of faith.

Vacay from work & blogworld:-)

2010-07-19T20:36:00.000-05:00

I've been M.I.A. lately because of vacation. It's really fun so far & some awesome things have happened.
So, I recently returned from NY where I spent alot of quality time with my sisters (soo fun & well needed, we hardly get to see each other!) Pumkin Pie was spoiled rotten the entire time & she loved it; once again refusing to return to Jamaica ( This has happened everytime for the past three years, guess she's a city girl at heart).
I'll share a few pics of our time there. My vacay officially ends next week but I feel revived & ready for work again:-)
God has definately been gracious & provided for us in many awesome ways. All glory to Him:-)

Mother-daughter bonding!

Extraordinary

2010-06-25T09:44:00.001-05:00

It always amazes me each time when I grasp just a little of the magnificence that is my God. Reading scriptures like Isaiah chapter 40 you can't help but be in awe of the Creator of the Heavens & the Earth. At times like that you wonder why you ever have doubts & fears when you serve a God so Huge,Unstoppable, Mighty & Limitless just to name a few of His characteristics.
But that's because we have limited minds. We want to understand everything, know what is to come, be in full control so we try to fit things, situations, God even, into our thinking. When we do that we limit what we think God is capable of. We see & understand only what we want or allow ourselves to.
But we need to realise that the Heavenly Father is limitless, we won't be able to fully comprehend Him in this mortal body & limited minds; but we should seek to know Him more & not limit our lives in Him.

Isaiah 40 vs 28-31- "Hast thou not known? hast thou not heard, that the everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth, fainteth not, neither is weary? there is no searching of his understanding. He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength. even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall: But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint."

So to my Extraordinary, Everlasting Father in Heaven I say as the psalmist David said in Psalm 31 vs 15a- "My times are in thy hands:". Who or what else would I ever want to give full control of my life but my Limitless Creator!

Father

2010-06-23T09:43:00.002-05:00

To the two best dads I know
My wonderful beyond words dad

And my awesome Pookie

I hope each day that God blesses us with together, that I show you both just how much I love & appreciate you.

Dealing with inward sin

2010-06-16T09:27:00.000-05:00

The natural person lives independently of God and His purposes and does not respond to life in harmony with God's plan for him.

~Neil Anderson's Daily in Christ devotional, June 16

Sometimes I feel so ashamed when I behave like a natural man, which is explained by the apostle Paul in Ephesians chapter 2 verses 1-3.{1 And you He made alive, who were dead in trespasses and sins, 2 in which you once walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit who now works in the sons of disobedience, 3 among whom also we all once conducted ourselves in the lusts of our flesh, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, just as the others.}

What I'm referring to are the times when I get anxious about something or the other, I know I just get on it & don't stop. I get annoying to say the least & many times anger the person who has to deal with me at the time. Then when things are put into perspective, I really didn't have to behave that way at all. I was indeed giving place to the devil & allowing his lies to lead me to believe that a situation was worse than it was. I saw this scripture this morning & it was a great reminder:-
Colossians chp. 3 vs. 14-15 "And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness. And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful."

Charity (love) is never exercised when I behave this way. And I'm not paying attention to the peace of God, when I'm causing someone else to get angry or hurt. I'm not thankful for that person when I let pride determine how I react. Realizing my sin, I am immediately repentant. I don't like the picture the truth of the Holy Spirit is showing me & I want to change. I am NOT a natural man! And I should live always as the daughter of God that I am.

I'm so glad that God cares so much about me to help me in my relationship with others. If He hadn't revealed it to me, I would still be in denial that I'm a nagger. Now I know the changes I have to make & I'm trusting in God to do that work in me. Scripture does warn of the enemy who wants to lure God's people into destruction & ungodly behaviour. A cunning enemy that would destroy my relationships first, then leave me isolated & open to more sins.
I'm unto you devil! And thanks be to God, Jesus is already victorious & you're already defeated:-P

Thank God It's Friday & It's Fashionable~TGIF&IF

2010-06-11T09:29:00.000-05:00

So my three year-old is a self-proclaimed "Princessa" & many times she wants me to join in on the tutu-ruffly fun. So in order to adulterize my whimsy, I have found that vests are the best way for me to get away with wearing a tutu:-)

Black H&M top
Entry jean vest
black tutu gifted *tag says Sele

Sweater Project black top
BCX grey vest
lace pewter tutu thrifted
(these pics were uploaded from my phone, hence the quality)

Count Your Blessings

2010-06-03T09:59:00.001-05:00

Even if you feel like this:- 2 Corinthians chp. 3 vs. 8-9-"We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed:"
There is Always something to be grateful to God for. One basic thing that in & of itself is a miracle, is Life; that's something we can always be thankful for. Then there are smaller things like, the unexpected (and much needed) cash I found while rifling through my handbag:-) And it is important to note from the scripture above that despite all those trials we are not distressed, not in despair, not forsaken & not destroyed. As a Christian, one can enjoy hope during the roughest & toughest of times. This is a part of the victory that God alone can give.

Feeling down or a little depressed is easy to shake off if we follow this basic practice of giving God thanks for stuff that's going right or even stuff not going right at all but could be worse! It always surprises me how these "I thank you fors" add up. Then I think, things really aren't so bad at all!
Join me in Counting Blessings: I always liked this song by Johnson Oatman jr, 1897 :-

Count Your Blessings

When upon life’s billows you are tempest tossed,

When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,

Count your many blessings, name them one by one,

And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.

Chorus:
Count your blessings, name them one by one,

Count your blessings, see what God hath done!

Count your blessings, name them one by one,

And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.

Are you ever burdened with a load of care?

Does the cross seem heavy you are called to bear?

Count your many blessings, every doubt will fly,

And you will keep singing as the days go by.

Chorus

When you look at others with their lands and gold,

Think that Christ has promised you His wealth untold;

Count your many blessings. Wealth can never buy

Your reward in heaven, nor your home on high.

Chorus

So, amid the conflict whether great or small,

Do not be disheartened, God is over all;

Count your many blessings, angels will attend,

Help and comfort give you to your journey’s end.

Chorus

The Tearing Down of Garrisons

2010-05-26T09:52:00.000-05:00

It is no secret what my country is currently going through. Criminal forces have risen up against the security forces in battle for control over Tivoli & organized crime in general. Extraditions, distrust of government, a country held hostage by years of corruption & little distinction between who is good & who is just plain bad. People brainwashed for subsistence.

It is easy to say that if this & that was not done then we would not be in this position. There are allegations and accusations but how will all that help the people of a nation who hang their heads in shame & disgrace at the turn of events? It all boils down to SIN. Jamaica has more churches per square mile than any other country, and therefore the country & it's people are under constant attack from satan and the forces of evil. No one has ever once proclaimed Jesus & not received enemy opposition. But what appears to occur slowly & surely starting with just one life giving over victory to the devil, then another then another etc. things have become rapidly immoral & sinful. 2 Corinthians 11 vs. 3-"But I fear, lest by any means, as the serpent beguiled Eve through his subtility, so your minds should be corrupted from the simplicity that is in Christ."

People who have no hope in a life committed to Jesus Christ don't understand that these things must come to past. Ephesians 6 vs. 12-"For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places." This is an example of what the Bible means by "perilous times", "wars and rumours of wars". God hates sin. Sin can have no place in Heaven. Jamaica is full of God's people. Sin has to be destroyed and the people repent to save our nation. Christians! Renounce the lies and deception of the enemy. Be set apart! Psalm 26 vs. 9-12-"Gather not my soul with sinners, nor my life with bloody men: In whose hands is mischief, and their right hand is full of bribes. But as for me, I will walk in mine integrity: redeem me, and be merciful unto me. My foot standeth in an even place: in the congregations will I bless the Lord."

Now with boldness and with the Word of God as our guide, we need to fast & pray away the violence & shame. We need to praise God & run the corruption and evil out of our nation. 2 Corinthians 10 vs. 4-5-" (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strongholds;) Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;"

Thank God It's Friday & It's Fashionable

2010-05-21T10:52:00.001-05:00

Just three months ago I had a terrible sprain in my right foot, my right knee had been previously broken & hurt in the process so it was no fun at all. I used crutches for a few days & had to keep my foot wrapped in the days. At work they graciously let me use a downstairs office until I could comfortably make it upsatirs on my own again.* I work at a local teachers' college that was originally the first hotel in my town, so it's mucho old. No elevators etal*

For awhile I really thought I would be sentenced to wearing flats for the rest of my life; It was that painful. Pookie had to massage my foot every night for weeks, he did most of the cooking etc. as well. I really love him, and that whole experience made me appreciate him more. Well back to the reason for the post. There is absolutely Nothing wrong with flats, I love them but at the time of my accident I wasn't wearing them often enough. Well after two months of flats I was starting to really miss my heels, some outfits just didn't look the same with flats. And I had alot of those outfits. My work actually encourages at least a small heel as it provides "a more professional look".

I prayed alot for full healing for my foot but everybody had a horror story of why sprains were worse than broken bones. A broken knee that I had for years always acted up on me, so that didn't sound too hopeful. But about four weeks ago I realised things weren't so bad & I could actually wear some of my heels again.
So I had this one pair that I was afraid of trying again. I've had it since last June & I think I only wore it twice, four inch pumps are not in my regular diet. Three inches I'm really comfortable with. Well this morning I decided to brave it since my foot has been feeling 100% for weeks now.

...So today I'm giving God thanks for where He's brought me from & I'm wearing these... in grey
I went to bed at 2am this morning, so I had no time to take a pic in my shoes, maybe later:-)

Nine West Women's Hearts Mary Jane,Black Leather,6 M US

Where does your confidence lie?

2010-05-19T16:04:00.001-05:00

James Chapter 4 verse 10- "Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up."

Last week I read a Neil Anderson's devotion Daily in Christ 5/12

and he put humility in perspective for me by simply stating that "humility is placing confidence in Christ, instead of in ourselves."
I don't know about anyone else but the whole concept of humility has left me a little confused before reading that devotional text. I had always wondered if taking great care in my appearance, being too defensive etc. meant I wasn't practicing humility. Then it was as clear as the day after rain, whenever I do things or plan to do stuff or if I ever think about situations from my ability, with no regard for what God can do through me or for me, then I'm not being humble. Humility is not having a low self-esteem but having a confidence in every situation that God will work things out.

Also, when I was in the second grade, I had a teacher who used one word to describe each student and that word started with the same letter as our first names. She described me as "Meek Moya" I thought at the time that it was because I was quiet & reserved. And like many other people I related meekness to weakness. Neil Anderson put this simply as well "Meekness is great strength under great control". After seeing it explained like that I am humbled that my teacher had seen meekness in me at that age and it made me reflect on the work God was presently doing in my life. I have seen where I've been learning more & more to place all my confidence in God about EVERYTHING! And placing my trust with Him has led to His strength totally enveloping me & seeing me through them all.

A few months ago I had spoken about my husband's work situation in this post. Well it lasted about a month and he's been unemployed since. It doesn't help that our country is facing some really "trying " times. Well we had to change alot of things we did. And persons who have gone through this or are going through a similar situation can testify that none of it is easy. The only easy thing is trusting God to take care of everyday. But sometimes it's hard to reach that place of easily trusting Him.

It becomes easy when we realise that the God we serve is Powerful, Almighty, Owns everything, and there is Nothing Impossible for Him. So I know Who I serve, in Whom my confidence lies and this has been my rock for the past couple months. The Creator of the heavens and the earth knows what He's doing and what He has planned for our family:)

Thank God It's Friday & It's Fashionable

2010-05-14T11:01:00.001-05:00

The outfit I'm wearing today is one I feel totally comfortable in; It's definately a "go-to" outfit since I don't usually need to iron it. I love the classic feel of it & I feel oh so feminine in it:-)

Blouse: Mom bought it somewhere in NY, the tag says Voice
Skirt: I don't remember which store I bought it, the tag says Geri C. New York
Shoes: Madden Girl, bought @ Marshalls (I think I paid $25 for it)
Bag: Gift with purchases from Macy's

Sweet as Pie

2010-05-14T10:24:00.001-05:00

This morning my little girl says to me: "Mommy, I want a hug!"
Me: "Aww." (hugging her)
Pie pie: "I thank Jesus for the gift of you to me"*whispers*
Me: (heart melting & forming a pool in my stomach)

Us going to church one Sunday:-)

NB* Ignore messy room please! Cannot edit/crop photo here @ work!

Thank God It's Friday & It's Fashionable

2010-05-07T11:25:00.002-05:00

One of my favourite accessories right now is the cardigan. It can add sophistication, comfort or just 'spice up' any outfit:-) Adorable belted or not, buttoned or open, it's a wardrobe staple in my book! Enjoy the pics.

I couldn't help adding some cute ones from jcrew for Pie Pie!

Thursday's Prayer

2010-05-06T12:21:00.001-05:00

James chapter 4 verse 8a "Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you."

Yesterday while fasting, I came to realise a few things about my present relationship with God: too many things were coming between us, I wasn't making as much time as I could for him, and my doubts & fears had been steadily increasing because of the first two reasons.

Sometimes I wonder what my purpose is in a certain situation & why I feel disconnected from God when I'm trying to seek him about something important. And if I would only ask myself these questions, I would know the answer. Do you find that your daily devotions have just become routine? Are you spending less time each day in meaningful prayer? Do you really make enough time for God each day? Do you obey him without considering yourself?

I realised that self gets in the way alot with my walk with God. What do others think about me?-When His word instructs us only to be concerned with what our Master thinks of us. I don't feel comfortable & why should I go out of my way when it won't benefit me? etc. Self. Pride. Idolatry. When something else determines our actions and beliefs over what God wants us to do or believe.

I have continuously & for too long made self-doubting get in the way of my relationship with God. It is a lie from the enemy, when God tells me I can & I say I can't, I'm not ready yet.

"Lord, in the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, I renounce every lie of the enemy in my life. Father help me to live in the freedom and victory I have in You and Your salvation. I pray for a healing touch from You, renew my mind, my heart, my body and my soul. Master Potter, remake me in Your wonderful image. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen."

Thank God It's Friday & It's Fashionable

2010-04-30T10:16:00.001-05:00

I can't forget how a year ago I was struggling at work because I didn't have the "right" clothes. I wasn't unprofessional but with limited funds and a boss that cared too much about the length of my jacket, I was frustrated and usually always second guessing my outfits. So I did what I normally do when feeling like this, I prayed. And God answered my prayer in a big way. I started receiving alot of brand new clothes from family and I even had a little New York shopping trip, that could only have been afforded because of the Lord's intervention. May I say that my God is a stylish God! The clothes I've received have been beautiful, just lovely.

Well fashion has always been a part of who I am. My youngest sister and I have been designing & making clothes (although not very well) since we could properly hold a needle. So with that I'm starting a weekly Fashion Fridays post, similar to what I've seen on a few blogs that I like.

So with that said, I've fallen in love with a few pieces from Stella McCartney's kids line. I think they are so adorable & Pumkin Pie would love them as well. Enjoy! And if you think any one of them is a "must-have" I've included the links. And contrary to popular beliefs, sweaters & jackets are very much needed in Jamaica:-)

Gap Stella Mccartney Chunky Cardigan Gap Stella Mccartney Skinny Zipper Jeans Gap Stella Mccartney Ruffle Top Gap Stella Mccartney Beckett Summer Jacket Gap Stella Mccartney Crochet Shift Dress Gap Stella Mccartney Piped Mini Skirt

Word for today

2010-03-04T11:47:00.001-05:00

Ephesians chapter 3 verse 20- " Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us,"

I heard this scripture in a song this morning & half an hour later it was the closing verse in an email devotion. Coincidence? I think not, I don't believe in them. So I subconciously started to think about it & wondered why God wanted me to pay special attention to that particular word today. So I broke it down:-

DO- to bring to an end by action; to perform completely; to make ready for an object, purpose,or use; to put or bring into a form, state or condition; to suceed; to answer the purpose.

EXCEEDING- exceptional in amount, quality or degree.

ABUNDANTLY- in a sufficient degree; fully, amply, plentifully; in a large measure.

ABOVE- Superior in rank, position, or number; greater than.

So the "him" being God is able to answer the purpose exceptionally & in a large measure greater than I ask Him or think is possible, based on the God given power of the Holy Spirit that works in me. This reminds me of the scripture in Isaiah 55 vs 8 & 9:-

""For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts."

I'm human, so many times I have prayed & had an idea of how I wanted a situation to work out in the back of my mind, all the while saying to God to let His will be done. Very presumptious I know; but with experience came maturity & I've seen many times where things have worked out even better than I could ever imagine it would! Because God did it "HIS" way & not the incomplete way I came up with.

Example, over two years ago an awesome job opportunity came up for my then fiance, now husband. It didn't work out even though we prayed hard. He, however, received another job offer & took it. Fast forward January of this year & he bumps into the man that made that job offer we had prayed so much for. He said he's ready to go now & he still wants him for the position. Ok but he already has a stable job, what to do? So I prayed of course, and the answer is a resounding Yes! Take it. So he accepts renewed job offer. Literally a few days later, totally unrelated, he gets laid off from two year old job, before he could even resign!

And once again I'm amazed at God & His timing! How he saw our needs before we even knew them & provided for us! (Imagine living on just one paycheck for more than a couple months right now!)
The Lord showed me that my husband didn't yet have the experience he needed to do this renewed job over two years ago, that's why our prayers had been diverted for a couple years. I couldn't have imagined this solution to my prayers in a million years. And I'm humbled by the fact that my God is so amazing & has so much vision and cares about little us so much. He puts so much thought into each of His creations, each of our lives, & I wish the whole world knew & realized that. There's a reason why we hear phrases like "God is Love" because He truly is the definition of love.

And according to the power that worketh in us reminds me to pray according to the will of God. For example I pray daily for my husbands salvation, how do I know it is the will of God? because in 2 Peter 3 vs 9 it says "The Lord is..., not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance." So now I'm believing that God can bring back (because he was in fellowship with God before College) Pookie in a remarkable way.

If you are a believer of Jesus Christ with me, hold God true to His word for us today and see what amazing things He can accomplish in our lives.

and that fadeth not away

2010-02-24T14:30:00.001-05:00

"To an inheritance incorruptible, and undefiled, and that fadeth not away, reserved in heaven for you," 1 Peter 1 verse 4.

There are times of great problems and instability, when one looks to God for help, then things calm down and seem to be resolved. Suddenly, other undesirables attack the same situation and your strength crumbles once again...

Seasons of peace may fade but the inheritance I have through the blood of Jesus NEVER fades. It will be wonderful from start to eternity, and nothing can take it away from me.
As I write with tears in my eyes, in this earthly body bound by pain & hurt & reject, my hope & eyes look toward heaven for what is reserved for me there. As I look above from where my help comes, the Lord reminds me not to dwell on pain & disappointment but to focus on the Holy Spirit in me; Revealer of all truth. Who reminds me that this world too shall pass, my problems will fade but the place Jesus has gone to prepare for me won't.

So I'll gather strength from the Lord & not my weak efforts. And learn what I need to carry on in this life.

"That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ:" verse 7

If You're Happy & You Know It...

2010-02-22T12:53:00.001-05:00

I received my first blog award from ParisPink at The Pink Polka Dot. Thank you so much, I love it! Her blog is fabulous and you should definately visit.

So here are the rules:- List 10 things that make you happy. Tag 10 bloggers that brighten your day and link back to the person that tagged you. So Here goes my list:)

1) Surprise visits at work from my Pookie!!( Can you tell I'm excited he was just here?!)

2) One of those mega-watt, sunshine & rainbows plus dancing rabbits smiles from my pumpkin pie ( I testify that these smiles make any dark cloud look like tasty cotton candy)

3) The sea- with or without a beach I can't help the blissful feeling.

4) Anything my mommy cooks

5) Movie dates with my youngest sis- we laugh at the most random things at exactly the same time even if it's not a comedy:)

6) When God reveals more of Himself to me- and I'm just in awe of His greatness.

7) Cuddling up in clean sheets

8) Hanging out laundry & taking them off the clothesline outside, it's the most peaceful & relaxing time, I promise. (However, I don't care much for the actual washing and putting away process.

9) To get I love yous & kisses all over my face (oh joy!) and random "thinking about you phone calls especially from daddy.

10) Seeing my family happy, instant mood booster!

So now I'm awarding:
Dr.Drama at A Voice of Reason and (In)sanity- Hilarious blog & I love her style, sh'e a professional & she cooks! A woman after my own heart:)

Jen at Beautiful Mess-Psalm 40- Such an inspirational blog & her great attitude gets me every time.

Kandee Johnson at Kandee the make up artist- Talented & the definition of sweetheart:)

Dana at MADE- Mega creativity & adorable kids:)

Brittany at Que Sera Sera- Interesting & must-read blog, plus I would shop in her closet!

Whitney at The Glamorous Life of a Housewife-A fantastical & entertaining blog, besides she's the only other person I've seen that uses the word 'horrid' besides myself & Enid Blyton:)

Melissa at The Missionary Mama- If I met Melissa in real life I'm sure we'd be fast friends!

Lauren at Thread by Thread- I just see God shining right through this woman & we've never met

Heather at Heather Drive- My first blog love & oh my! All those recipes!

April at dot...dot...dot...- A sassy & fun blog & she always seems to have a great attitude:)

The Challenge

2010-01-29T11:57:00.000-05:00

Well I've done the women's marriage ministry challenge already (see previous post with link) but the lessons that it teaches are ones to emulate in everyday married life, so I'm glad to do it again. The first two challenges went well, because Pookie & I have both come to expect an intimate greeting from each other when he gets home.

Last night though we had a stupid fight about something insignificant and it brings me to today's challenge about respect. Pookie was trying to avoid any disagreement & I felt ignored. This is a cycle I have to keep praying about to break. When we respond based on feelings, it usually blows things out of proportion and leaves us feeling quite silly when tempers have calmed down. Doing the challenge again helps me to remain focused on making the changes in me & my marriage, a permanent part of our lives.

At the beginning of the year I came up with the idea that we should make a united effort to spend more "just us" time despite our busy schedules. The idea is to have a date night once a month, where I'm in charge of January's date, him February etc. The rules are it should be low budget, so that we get more creative & see how much thought the other person put into their date planning & because our aim for this year is to completely get out of debt. There will be no complaning about the date eg. If I plan an event that he doesn't think he will enjoy then he can't complain about it ( this has been a problem of sorts because my husband doesn't like to step out of the box even though he usually loves the experience & I want to be more appreciative of him & his efforts). Also, the date can run anytime that month, the other spouse just needs enough time to organize babysitting and ensure it doesn't clash with work, etc.

Well this month was a trial run & since it was my idea I went first. So Pumkin-pie had a sleepover with grandma & I planned my date for that night with alot of prayer (you see if this date bombed then the idea would be a no-go with Pookie). There is a decking above our verandah (quite common for Caribbean houses) and the view is awesome up there especially at night. I had gotten some fried wantons, which we both love, from the retaurant we had our reception & anniversary dinner. That and some hot chocolate with marshmallows.

It had been raining heavily that afternoon & it made me worried but then I prayed that God would help me with a way to make it work. The rain stopped & the weather was perfect. It was just the right amount of chill for cuddling & enjoying our hot chocolate. I enjoyed it fully & so did Pookie. We talked for hours up there and discussed our hopes and dreams. Quite romantic it was & cheap too:) I can't wait to see what he'll do for February and I'm praying that he follows through and not give up on us spending time together, because that's what I'm after. These connections that make everything seem worthwhile and that God is indeed smiling down on our union.

'Til Death

2010-01-27T16:28:00.001-05:00

My marriage is very important to me, even more so that we have experienced some very trying & "deal breaker" times. The Lord places alot of importance on the institutions of marriage & family; And it is guidelines from the Word of God that has kept me going in my role as a wife. I have discovered a blog dedicated solely to marriage based on the real life experiences of its author Aimee Freeman. Check out http://www.womensmarriageministry.blogspot.com/ it is encouraging & she is about to embark on a 14 day challenge that has reinforced all that God was trying to show me on being the wife He called me to be.
So if you have a great marriage & even a not so great one, join in the challenge & spread the word & get a lot of people following God's will for successful marriages & the way He intended for them to be.

Surely Goodness and Mercy...

2010-01-07T14:11:00.000-05:00

...shall follow me all my days.

Lately I've been coming up short. And this happens, part of life I think. Just not getting anything done right, lots of mistakes in almost every life area and people you care about being short or simply annoyed at you. This happens too. Feeling down about it. This happens as well; to me that is.
Add to that mucho financial setbacks and in my mind things escalate. I'm the type of person that sometimes worries about money, meal planning, parenting, marriage, other relationships until I have a headache. Worry is a sin that I've been trying to shake for awhile now; sometimes successfully but somehow it has crept right back. What does my Lord say about this? "Be careful (anxious or worried) for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God." Philippians 4 vs 6.

So I pray about it. This worrying is my weakness and often how the enemy tries to keep me from the full joy I have only in the Lord. This is how he tries to disrupt my identity in Christ, by trying to trick me into taking up my burdens and struggling with them when Jesus already said that those with their heavy burdens must come to Him and He'll give us rest.

So God delivered me from my downcast spirit this afternoon with a song. It reminds me that He doesn't love me because of anything I've done or not done well, but because He's Good & Merciful. So all my feelings of not being enough at times in this life doesn't warrant me being down on myself, for my God is more than enough.

Faith

2009-11-27T11:13:00.000-05:00

Two and a half years ago after much prayer and fasting, I received a word from God. I had written it down and placed it in my Bible as a reminder.
"Be confident my daughter in the love I have for you. I cannot stop loving you and I cannot let you down. It is impossible. If you learn to trust me, giving praises no matter the situation, you will have unmovable faith, then there will be no fear of anything in your heart and you will be confident in all things."

At that point in my life I was a single unemployed mother. I was not living comfortably and I rarely smiled. I couldn't see any reason to. Also I was at that point of constant insecurity in my worth and self-image. And I had no earthly friendship to turn to. I was alone even though others were around, and very afraid. Afraid for my daughters future, mine and that God could never use someone like me to make a difference in this world because I was afraid of the devil and his attacks.
My Heavenly Father obviously didn't see me as I saw myself based on what He said to me then. So for the past couple years He has lead me on a journey of knowing Him better by diving into His word letting it become my assurance and daily necessity."So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God."
So reading this once again I'm so grateful to God for completely turning my life around. Turning my sorrow into joy. Showing me an Almighty, All-Knowing and Loving God. The God who sees what I can be and not focus on the imperfection that I am. The only true and Living God who has sanctified me and adopted me into His precious family by the sacrifice of His Son Jesus.

The Lord is responsible for any increase in my faith over the years and not me. Without Him I am nothing. Without the Creator of the Heavens and the Earth I would be all that I thought I was. But Thanks be to God! I am not! I am a child of the King! And nothing can separate me from His love!

And He loves me enough to show me the pride that still lurks in my heart, the thoughts that still need to be subjected to Him. Because I daily need Him to "Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me." Psalm 51 verse 10.
I am still a work in progress, but if the Almighty God hasn't given up on me, then why should I give up on myself?

I am not afraid

2009-11-17T09:29:00.000-05:00

"Be bold, be strong! For the Lord our God is with you!
Be bold, be strong! For the Lord our God is with you!
I am not afraid, I am not ashamed!
I'm gonna walk in Faith and Victory...
Walk in Faith and Victory!
For the Lord our God is with you!"

This is the chorus the Lord used to encourage my heart this morning. Yesterday had not been a successful day at work. It's becoming more stressful lately and I am daily counting down til December 11 when I'm off for vacation. Last night my heart was burdened and I needed to talk to somebody, Pookie went to sleep minutes after I got home, I will never burden little Pie's heart with things she won't understand and in Jamaica free calls on my cell only come on after 11 at night when I hope not to be still awake and I don't have or want a landline at home. So who to talk to but God? He's usually my first go-to and He should always be but I thought I was very much in need of physical contact and sympathy.
So when it wasn't satisfied, I woke up kind of dismayed, I seriously toyed with the idea of calling in sick to work but that would never make my problems disappear only intensify and delay it a little.
As I sat in my chair with Pie curled up in my lap, watching the sun rise this morning, feeling that nice crisp chill that we get here that says Christmas is near, not enjoying it (which is unusual for me) the chorus starts softly in my heart. Then it grows louder and louder until my voice starts echoing it and Pie starts to sing along with her mommy. My spirit lifts and I can go on with my day.

Psalm 103 verse 13-14- "Like as a father pitieth his children, so the Lord pitieth them that fear him.
For he knoweth our frame; he remembereth that we are dust."
My God remembers I am only human and he feels sorry for me. He knows my human instincts are first to give up and give in and I need His encouragement. I see a new side of Him everyday and it is humbling to know the Great Creator cares about a bad day or two in my life.

Beauty with Purpose

2009-11-06T14:11:00.001-05:00

So I'm in charge of producing the annual pageant at the college where I work. It is not just a beauty pageant but it will focus on the intelligence and talents of some of our teachers-in-training. I'm excited and look forward to the end results of this first-time challenge of putting on this show for charity. Last year I was merely a judge, this year I will be trainer, image consultant and talent developer extraordinaire! lol! Well it will be fun trying to be all these things.

Last night at rehearsal, I was surprised at how many of the contestants seemed self conscious and lacking in confidence throughout most of the practice. It had me thinking about my own struggles with this thing called self-confidence. In recent times I find that I just tune into what I know God thinks of me, whenever thoughts of self-doubt and insecurities creep in.

The entire Psalm 139 encourages me in who I am in the Lord. Reading and applying it to myself, I always feel so loved and cared for and that I am precious in His sight. I especially like verses 14 & 17-18:
"I will praise thee: for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well." ( I am a work of God and his works are marvellous!)

"How precious also are thy thougths unto me, O God! how great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they are more in number than the sand: when I awake, I am still with thee." (He thinks about me much more than the number of grains of sand that exists! That's alot! My thoughts are only filled with someone so much when I'm deeply in love with them. Imagine how he feels about me! So who am I to doubt the 'work' of the Creator? To call it ugly, untalented and not enough? When the God of all creation made me and loves me with such great passion. Sending His precious and perfect Son to die for such as me.

I am "blessed and highly favoured"!

Jesus, please help me to remember the truth of who I am in You, when opposition arises to fill my heart and thougths with lies of the enemy, that causes You grief that so many of Your wonderful creations are living and believing the lies that they are unlovely and insufficient.

For Good

2009-11-04T10:33:00.000-05:00

"And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.
For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren." Romans 8 vs. 28-29

This portion of scripture speaks to me that every heartache, trial or adversity I go through will build me into the character God has called me to be; because I love Jesus and I am committed to serving Him no matter what.
That at the end if I'm receptive to what He's trying to teach me in every situation, then I'll be more like Jesus than I ever was before. His lessons come out of even situations that I disobediently got myself into in the first place, and they are to help me have as fulfilling a life as possible in Him. Fulfilling as in a meaningful and complete life in the Lord. Where I go to Him before anything and anyone else; a life filled with episode after episode of His glory.

Be desperate for God and nothing else!! Not for love, not for security, not more children, not a more loving husband, not for material gifts, not for wealth or health. But for God. I am learning to seek Him desperately and I find that 'all things are working for good according to His purpose'. It doesn't mean everything is great but whatever His purpose is in my life at that moment helps me to see more of His character and to follow it. I am learning to love the Lord and depend on Him for everything. I see His great love for me through all His blessings and provisions. Even when bills are just barely paid, they get paid! He's showing my husband how to love me and me how to love my husband. I'm experiencing a peace that is indescribable but lovely. It doesn't escape me but remains in my heart when trouble comes.

My Heavenly Father wants me now at this point in my life to take the time to know Him, just as how He knows me, for myself in studying and meditating on His word; And when I pray listen more to what He's trying to say to me.

Seek and ye shall find.. I am seeking and finding out more about Him each day.

Ten Months

2009-10-26T16:29:00.001-05:00

I actually can't believe that it's been ten months already since Pookie and I got married. It seems like before long it will be Christmas Eve and we'll be at the one year mark. I already can't wait til December because that's when I'll be taking my much needed vacation; and having an anniversary to celebrate will be all the more awesome. One of my really good friends called me on Friday wanting permission to use our wedding pics in a new wedding magazine. That got me thinking about our anniversary...
I need a cool idea to make the day memorable and special for my man but I don't want to go over board because I think simple would be much more appreciated than over the top. Right now I'm thinking we should return to the reception site for dinner or something along those lines. Any budget friendly suggestions anyone? I'd really appreciate any suggestions:)

Heaven

2009-10-14T09:38:00.000-05:00

Alot of people want to go to heaven. The Bible describes it as a beautiful place with streets of gold, beautiful jewels everywhere, trees by the river bearing all types of fruits at once ( and if you are like me this is really appealing-living on an island you'd think I'm always at the beach. I'm lucky if a see the sea or a river at least once for the year.). Not to mention the parts about no more pain, sorrow, sickness, etc. Well I realise after talking to some people over the years that quite a few of them sought religion for this purpose- the promise of the perfect life. Very appealing, but I'm more excited about living with my Lord and King everyday for eternity!

Those who believe that once they were "good" here on earth it automatically guarantees them a spot in heaven are gravely mistaken. The Bible clearly states that to live in heaven we must accept the "owner' of heaven. How can you live with someone you don't have any type of relaationship with? Even on earth now, a roommate isn't just a random person. Even if you don't know them well, you will know them and that isn't usually a permanent situation. But if you are planning on permanently living with God, you must have a relationship with Him. His word says "For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life" John 3 verse 16. Very famous verse, but it's important to note that heaven is not attainable without Jesus.

Jesus went on to further say in John 14 vs 1-2-"Let not your heart be troubled: ye believe in God, believe also in me. In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you." And Jesus told his disciple Thomas a few verses down in verse 6 that "...I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me."

And "by Jesus" simply means by believing that Jesus is the Son of God sent from heaven to die for our sins. That He is the Saviour from which we should seek forgiveness and spend our lives serving Him by doing what He made us to do. Finding our purpose in Him.

This is a part of a prayer Jesus said while he was on earth recorded in St. John 17 vs. 21-22
"That they may be one; as thou, Father, art in me, and I in thee, that they also may be one in us: that the world may believe that thou hast sent me. And the glory which thou gavest me I have given them; that they may be one, even as we are one:"

I love developing a relationship with Jesus Christ now on earth, and it is work just like any other relationship. But can I tell you how exciting it is to anticipate seeing Him face to face one day?!

27

2009-09-29T16:25:00.000-05:00

It's my 27th birthday today and I'm so grateful for another birthday and for the many gifts God has put in my life:)

Little things that make a big difference

2009-09-21T15:32:00.000-05:00

So this morning I'm in the shower thinking of the 101 things I have to get done before leaving home for work; when Pumpkin Pie bursts into the bathroom shouting "Mommy I wake up!" Then she runs out again. So about five minutes later, I go in my room and she's so excited, throws her hands in the air, grinning and unable to contain herself she yells "I wake up this morning!".

So I get all excited too and say "Well, Thank you Jesus!' which she echoes. And then I'm thinking, I didn't even feel thankful for waking up today, I was just like "Ugh! Another Monday morning!". Her Attitude changed where my day was heading, I can tell you that:)

Staring Impossibility Square in the Eyes

2009-09-17T14:30:00.000-05:00

Have you ever wanted to do something that was physically, financially etc. impossible? Ever reached near the end of a goal and some obstacle came up? Have a bad habit or a bad attitude towards something or yourself you thought you would never shake? Ever been told or thought "That's impossible, it will never happen!"

Well I'm here to share that:- " The things which are impossible with men are possible with God." St. Luke Chapter 18 verse 27. This is a direct quote from Jesus himself.

My mother was addicted to smoking ciggarettes when I was younger, really addicted. She tried alot of things to quit because my Dad didn't like it and she felt bad about the example she was setting for us kids. The day she accepted Jesus Christ as her Saviour, her craving ended. God didn't want her enslaved to an addiction.
I remember just a couple weeks ago, Pookie and I were broke and didn't really have anything in the house for dinner; I was tempted to worry about it but I just prayed and trusted God. My landlords extended a dinner invitation to my family; there was alot of food to be had:) It's amazing how the Lord provided! They didn't even know our need!

There have been many more instances of human impossibilities that God has totally turned around that I have personally witnessed. So I know that with all the challenges that have come up recently, that me opening my Bible and this being the first verse I see, that my God is telling me that He's got this.

Less of me

2009-09-16T10:07:00.001-05:00

Well I was starting to feel uncomfortable with my body this summer. I gained about 15 lbs since last October when I started birth control. I was taking mesigyna a monthly BC injection; and the weight just crept on.

I freaked out when one of the dresses I had just worn weeks before couldn't zip! My husband tried and tried but it just couldn't go up. So I stressed about it for a little while, then slowly started to take some steps to get comfortable again. I'm 5ft 7 inches and I'm happy at about 145lbs. Anything less and I'm just breasts and a smile:)

So first step was drinking water, which I basically didn't drink at all but only used when I cooked. So I was sipping water all day, everyday and it being so hot helped too. And I lost 2lbs in about 2 1/2 weeks doing just that. Then I stopped waiting until Pookie got home to eat dinner, as soon as it was ready I would take a reduced portion and tried to eat before 7 pm the latest. Then I stopped taking that BC because it was also making me feel very sick. And I haven't replaced it yet, which I know is dangerous seeing that we want to wait a few more years for pregnancy number two. But I just can't decide which one to take, what method etc.

Recently I've been doing exercises with Gilad from Fit tv (This is what got me back in shape post baby). So now I'm down 4 lbs.
I just wanted to say... SQUEE!!!! I'm so motivated right now.

Sweet treat

2009-09-07T12:11:00.001-05:00

So Pookie just recently turned 26 and I wanted him to have a special cake, since we fell in love over birthday cake five years ago:) So I searched long & hard for the perfect chocolate cake recipe (because I was going to bake the most delicious chocolate cake I could on my first ever try). And I was determined not to use a cake mix! Don't get me wrong I can cook and I enjoy it but I didn't have much opportunity to experiment in the kitchen with a mother who constatnly spoiled her children with all types of homecooked and baked goodies.

So I found the Hershey's Chocolate Cake recipe and decided to use it with a few alterations.

Ingredients:

2 cups sugar
1-3/4 cups all-purpose flour
3/4 cup HERSHEY'S Cocoa ( I used a Nesquick cocoa because that's what I had at home, I know a terrible substitution given the title name of the cake)1-1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1-1/2 teaspoons baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
2 eggs
1 cup milk
1/2 cup vegetable oil
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 cup boiling water (ended up using 2 cups lol!)

Directions:1. Heat oven to 350°F. Grease and flour two 9-inch round baking pans. 2. Stir together sugar, flour, cocoa, baking powder, baking soda and salt in large bowl. Add eggs, milk, oil and vanilla; beat on medium speed of mixer 2 minutes. Stir in boiling water (batter will be thin). Pour batter into prepared pans. 3. Bake 30 to 35 minutes or until wooden pick inserted in center comes out clean. Cool 10 minutes; remove from pans to wire racks. Cool completely.Frost. 10 to 12 servings.

Well the batter was really thin after I added 2 cups boiling water instead of the one that the recipe required:) Lol! but that's me these random things happen all the time. I didn't even realize my mistake until I was typing the recipe up for this blog post:) So my cake was in there for about 45 minutes total due to it not being "set" yet at 35 minutes. I used a Pillsbury milk chocolate frosting and shaved white chocolate for topping ( I am not a practised cake decorator yet!)

Well my husband's reaction after tasting his cake... "Moya, this is orgasmic! It shoulda been our wedding cake." Can you tell I'm still blushing and giddy with delight?! So it was a success and I'm glad I tried it and didn't wimp out for a bakery's finest. Others who sampled it couldn't believe how moist this chocolate cake was ( so my spoof turned into a total win!).

Can't wait until I have an excuse to make this again but better not anytime soon since I just started exercising again last week:)

(Please ignore that there are only 10 candles on the cake, I only had 24 & He turned 26 so I just chose a round even number. I'm Monkish like that)

It has begun

2009-09-07T11:57:00.000-05:00

So this morning Pie goes off to her first day of school. I wake up pretty early because the traffic here is extremely bad when school is in progress. There are at least half a dozen schools in close proximity to each other and Pie's new school is no exception.

Well she was excited until she realized her dad & I weren't staying and she proceeded to gather her backpack & lunch bag, and stated firmly "Mommy I'm coming wit you!". It was all heartbreaking from then on. We had to quickly leave our 'crying up a storm' baby in the arms of her new teacher and continue to work. I know she will be fine but that didn't stop me from tearing up a little. Seeing my daughter reach this phase in her life that just seemed to creep up way too quickly. Seeing her little body in the uniform like I use to wear years before (they haven't changed the style at all) and knowing she'll love it as much as I did:)

I can't wait til school's over so I can pick her up & hear all about it!

(no pics in uniform will be posted for privacy purposes)

If you're interested..

2009-09-02T15:18:00.000-05:00

A beauty site I visit is having a MAC cosmetics giveaway where you can win makeup with your choice of shade. If interested check out the link below. http://sweetshugahon.blogspot.com/2009/08/my-first-contest-mac-giveaway.html#links

I'm bringing creativity back

2009-09-02T10:00:00.000-05:00

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." - Mark Twain I was much more of a dreamer growing up and I was always described as creative, however, life got in the way. Reality came along and shoved my dreams aside. I am a good writer, it is a gift so I'm not conceited but God has blessed me in expressing myself this way ( I'm not good at expressing myself in the conventional ways but I try). Well there was a time I use to write stories and poems and plays by the dozen. In high school I would always do the short story and composition assignments for all my friends and I actually enjoyed it. Fast forward about 8 years and I'm struggling with even the desire to write. And recently, the Holy Spirit has been encouraging me to resume the use of this gift God has given me. But I'm all excuses, some maybe legitimate, but I can certainly get past these. Time is a major one and I've been without energy for awhile too. It's not that I have writers' block, my mind is flooded with ideas and stories to tell. I have stories for my daughter that I wish to write down and have pictures for her to enjoy, but life is in my way. This job, meal planning, laundry, cleaning, wife-ing and mothering, church and work related "after work hours" meetings; I feel I have no time to relax much less get enough sleep. I'm going to start again. I need to, it was my escape from pressures, my sanity (which isn't exactly eluding me now but needs to be stroked and cared for). Maybe start with five minutes everyday. All I need is to make a step right?

Who am I & what am I about?

2009-09-01T11:53:00.000-05:00

Hi blog world! I'm Moya a christian mother of an almost three year old baby girl "Pumpkin pie/Pie-pie" ( my bad she says she's not a baby but a big girl) and the now 8 month wife of Pookie. Pie pie starts school (kinder1) next week and is pretty excited about it. Though I'm more excited! I did tear up when she first tried on her uniform, started buying school stuff long before she got accepted. You see this noble institution is where I went when I was small along with my closest sister. They have a two year waiting list (at least) and she really had to do an interview, observation and a little test to see if she was eligible. Yes! At two years old but I won't get into that! Pookie and I both work fulltime and met in University although we both went to the same high school together for five years:) He's in construction, just like my dad (And I actually worked in my dad's construction company for a few years) and I must say that there's just something about a man in jeans and those hard hats everyday;) I just cannot feel the suits ( no offense). I especially like when he has a deadline and actually gets his hands dirty (and everything else!) And comes home looking like that. Its not hard to get concrete and cement mixtures out of clothes at all in my opinion. Anyway, since I've known myself I've always wanted to pursue many different things. My career options along with my hobbies seem to always be changing. It's not just indecision but there is a deep fear inside me of sticking to what God wants me to do with my life, work and talents (A bit afraid of success? Because only success comes from following God). And contrary enough my greatest desire is to fulfill exactly what Jesus wants with my life. So this begins the journaling of my course to fulfilling my purpose:)